Police Blotter

TWO MEN burst into the home of a Bayou man last week and fired bullets at him. The Bayou man, though shot several times in the chest at close range, was unharmed. He said the men apologized, saying they were looking for zombies to hunt and had mistaken him for one, even though he was sitting and reading Chekhov at the time.

A WOMAN carrying two small infants toppled into the river from the ferry last week. Just prior to boarding the ferry, she was seen exiting a popular city tavern. A New Toulouse resident saw the accident from the main Bayou dock and rescued them. The woman and children were shaken but unharmed.

POLICE SEEK any information leading to the arrest of a thief currently plaguing the city. Victims typically return home after a night on the town and find that one shoe has been removed from their home, with a note tucked inside its mate instructing them to leave a ransom of carrots at a specified location or face the loss of the shoe forever.