Classifieds
FOR SALE
Making new plans. Cemetery plot for sale, as-is or will remove current residents. L$750 firm. NT-777
For Sale: assorted household and decor items, gently used. Stock changes daily! Free gift wrap with every purchase. Visit “Look What the Cat Dragged In” Second Hand and Vintage, #2 Spiegel Hall.
FOR LEASE
FOR RENT (rented): French Market storefront, mostly vermin-free. NT-321
WANTED
Wanted: Miscellaneous carcasses for amateur taxidermy. Must be fresh. No questions asked. Contact Kristine Jinx-Kristan.
Wanted, A Good Digger with Own Shovel. You can read, write, dig, with good temperament. Room and board available. Contact Rmarie Beedit by letter.
WANTED: Keen-nosed Catahoula Leopard Dog willing and able to work with obnoxious talking parrot to help sniff about Tunnel Man and recover the remains of his victims. Must be housebroken, since duties also include serving as croupier at newly opened NT gambling hall, jook joint and reading room. – Fr. José-Eusebio Camara, SJ.
HELP WANTED
The New Toulouse Tattler seeks reporters, photographers, and columnists. Interested parties please contact Nikita Weymann.
SERVICES OFFERED
The Haunted Jellyfish is New Toulouse’s premiere ghost gallery and portrait studio. We specialize in bringing you in contact with the spirit world through seances, card readings, and portrait photography. Want a picture with dear departed Granny? Maybe you need some advice on that pesky suitor, or you just want to know where your dead mama hid the recipe book. Make an appointment today with Galatea Monday, or just stop by the Haunted Jellyfish and buy some classic ghost art, or play with our spirit cabinet — a ghost is guaranteed in every click. Mention this ad for a 10-percent discount. The Haunted Jellyfish: Stop by for a Spell!
Do you have a story no one will believe? A mystery that defies logical explanation? Edward Ramsey, private investigator, is ready to listen to you. No case too bizarre, no story too absurd. Walk-ins welcome, appointments available at all hours for those who have sun allergies. The office is at #1 Spiegel Hall across from the town square. Edward Ramsey, private detective: ever vigilant and always here for you.
PUBLIC NOTICES
Carricre St. Grocery is open for business. We now have Tater Brandy, but don’t tell the revnoo boys. Come browse the store or send a grocery order via telegram. The back-room cafe is open as well. This week’s menu: Alligator beef stew, coffee thick as molasses, and Granny Smith pie.
PERSONALS
To EV: Stay out of the opium trade if you know what’s good for you. -A well-wisher
Gentleman of 30 would like to meet or correspond with a widow or maid; strictly confidential, no triflers, no waitresses, shooting gallery clerks, or lady barbers will be considered. Object: matrimony. NT-202
Send your classified ad to the Tattler, in care of Nikita Weymann.