Classifieds
FOR SALE
PLOT FOR SALE—St. Louis Cemetery #23, slightly used tomb included or BYOT. Certified unhaunted by actual priest (part-time). Excellent source of goofer dust. Serious offers only to Lazaire Bienvenu, Agent, NT-333.
FOR RENT
RECENTLY FUMIGATED storefront for rent, steps from streetcar line and Laveau Square. Possible light spectral activity but a steal for the right sort of business. Lazaire Bienvenu, Agent, NT-333.
HELP WANTED
HELP WANTED—Assistants for upcoming event. Must be fast learners and own athletic footwear. Absence of criminal record a big plus. Leave message in east rubbish bin, Wikifoo Plaza.
THE NEW TOULOUSE TATTLER seeks talented reporters, photographers, and columnists. Phone Nikita Weymann, NT-668.
NOTICES
DOCTOR AVALON is pleased to note that since DJ Dr. Maddox Sinclair is among us, we will schedule a calendar of events: a Toga Party one the first Monday of every month at Aquavitae, and a Dance on the third Monday of every month at the Cup and Harp banquet hall. The time for both events will be 6-8 SLT. The festivities begin tonight, Monday the 18th, at the Cup and Harp.
SUPPORT MAYOR GODENOT in his bid for reelection—stop by and pick up some free posters. Alliance Party campaign headquarters, 1 Rue du Rossignol, New Toulouse.
HELP DESTROY THE SUN. Mondieu for Mayor, #5 Red Drum Place.
JOIN the Citizens’ League and help elect a new city government that will work FOR THE PEOPLE. Promotional materials now available at our headquarters, 26 Basin Street, New Toulouse.
MISCELLANEOUS
VOTE MONDIEU for mayor! That way, instead of seeing him rummaging through your trash, sleeping in your shed, and puking on your porch, he will just stay in City Hall, where the criminal element belongs!
LADIES, WHEN IN NEED of legal or confidential advice why not confer with one of your own sex? Gentlemen also welcome. Contact Alva Investigations, #6, The French Market. Tel: NT-911.
EATING MEAT builds up your muscle, a juicy steak will make you hustle. With muscle and hustle, THE WORLD IS YOURS. Try Perrineau’s lake cow steak tonight.
PERSONALS
WILL THE PERSON who defecates in my wishing well night after night please desist immediately. Your identity is known.
JENNY—Come home, all is forgiven, even the parrot incident.
LOST & FOUND
LOST DOG, spaniel mix, answers to the name of Pookums, prefers herringbone tweed. Information please to A-3, Tattler, or telephone NT-565.
Classified ads are posted every Monday and are L$1 per word; fee waived for sufficiently amusing advertisements. Contact NT-668 to place an ad.