Classifieds
WANTED
MOUSER no longer mousing? Old dog getting a little long in the tooth and grey around the muzzle? Obnoxious alligators hanging out in your yard? Live feed needed for my guard rooster Hercules. Good rates paid per pound, and extra 10% for fast moving prey. 24 hour security guard service also available. Enquiries to Mr Tyger Freenote Esquire, Night Trips, NT Bayou, phone NT-877.
THE GUMBO SOCIETY seeks donations of baked goods for its charity bake sale. Please place all items together in a single box and address to Yvonne Follet, care of New Toulouse City Hall.
FOR SALE
DELICIOUS CAKES, pies, and other baked goods may be had from the Gumbo Society Charity Bake Sale, running through the month of December at the west side of Spiegel Hall. Help to feed those in need!
FOR RENT
STOREFRONT available, L$200/week. Inquire at #5 Pirate Alley or telephone Lazaire Bienvenu, Agent, at NT-333.
HELP WANTED
THE NEW TOULOUSE TATTLER seeks talented reporters, photographers, and columnists. Phone Nikita Weymann, NT-668.
SITUATIONS WANTED
DANGEROUS LIVESTOCK need to be moved? Call Mouton. His Catahoulas can painlessly and effortlessly move the most difficult bulls and hogs. NT-408.
MISCELLANEOUS
ROACHES in the woodpile? Flies on the window sill? Ants in the sugar bowl? Use the newest Lead Arsenate pest control products approved by the Department of Agriculture! “A is for Arsenate/Lead if you please/Protector of Apples/Against Archenemies!”
JOIN the Shooters & Liars Club … if you can! Your first clue is at the ferry dock near the Bayou train depot. If you can find our clubhouse, you’re in!
IF YOU DON’T FIND WHAT YOU WANT on this page, advertise for it. Don’t delay—run that little ad today. Phone NT-668.
PERSONAL
NICE GENTLEMAN ZOMBIE seeks Females with Big Brains. I can offer nice bayou surrounding and full discretion. Please reply to Hungry Jason.
CHATTING PLANTS seek conversation partners. Extremely bored when no one is around. You find us at Bayou at the porch of Liza’s house. Please come talk to us. We can tell you secrets if you touch us.
NOTICES
DOCTOR AVALON would like to announce that on Monday, the 21st, she plans to have a Christmas party at The Cup and Harp. DJ to be announced, but she hope to get Erica Fairywren again. Time, 6pm slt-8pm.
NOW OPEN: Professor Inglewood’s Grand Observatorium! A grand museum dedicated to the strange and bizarre. Professor Inglewood has traveled the world in search of curiosities to amaze and stupefy even the most jaded observer. See the Fi GI Mermaid! Marvel at the ancient mummies! Behold photographs of actual spirits from beyond! The Grand Observatorium is not for the faint of heart. It is not recommended for children or unaccompanied ladies. Professor Inglewood can not be held responsible for those who experience the vapors or hysterics while visiting the Grand Observatorium. Located at #6 Basin Street. Ten cents admission.
LOST & FOUND
MY HOUSEGUEST Victory is gone missing since the 3rd of December. Please tell if you found any body parts at the bayou. Concerned Ghost at IZED Zombieland, phone NT-667.
Classified ads are posted every Monday and are L$1 per word. No advertisement taken for less than L$25. Contact NT-668 to place an ad.